ʻOumuamua Boink

 There has been fuss about this interstellar object passing through our solar system. We know it is interstellar because it dropped from above the solar disk. Everything in our solar system is near the disk. This dropped from above then changed direction at the disk near the sun and went skittering off along the path of the disk.

Why did it change direction? The two reasonable explanations are outgassing from the object and solar wind. The sun produces heat and radiation so one of those must have moved the object. But the object doesn’t change direction until it reaches the solar disk. Why wouldn’t heat or radiation move the object earlier? The explanations given are unsatisfying. Aliens are suggested.

It looks like it bounced. It bounced near the sun on the disk. Why did it bounce on the disk? It looks like it hit something and changed direction. What could it have hit?

The man on the stair. Something that isn’t there. Sounds like dark matter to me. Dark matter varies in density. Play with corn starch suspended in water, it bounces your fist when you hit it and lets your fist in when you touch it. Sticky dark matter sings better than modified gravity theory. Particularly with a bounce. Sticky dark matter, composed of neutrinos, neutrons, whatever, varying its characteristic with its density should explain the disk, rings, moons and belts.

Review of Axiom’s End

 After Awoken, Lindsay Ellis will always be suspect. Alien romance has been done. It is a common theme on Star Trek:

-Dr. Bashir we have discovered a new life form.

-Does it fuck?

Dr. Bashir is a slut. There are vampire romances, werewolf romances, zombie romances… In Awoken the love interest is Cthulhu.

-As she fell into his arms, arms, arms.

-There were tentacles where no tentacle should ever go.

In Axiom’s End, the protagonist Cora, recovering from a malignant narcissist father, falls for a manipulative extraterrestrial war refugee, Asterisk. Asterisk confuses her squeamishness over killing him with kindness. Get very nervous if someone regards you as kind or nice. Asterisk resembles a grass hopper Dr. Seuss character. Asterisk’s appeal is kind of a cuddly networked dildo, not much privacy, almost as good as a lesbian. The couple overcommit right away. Cora keeps assuming that Asterisk regards us as savage. She doesn’t consider that he is projecting.

I had difficulty in the beginning of the book. Cora fighting with her mom seemed normal. It’s a shame that families are always used to develop the character then disposed of. The surveillance was off. Surveillance doesn’t tailgate.

Once I got past that, I was able to swallow it. Asterisk knocked Cora around too much, sort of a school yard romance. It is suggested that the great filter is dominant aliens killing everyone else, good an explanation as any.

It was fun that the plot centered on Cora recognizing the relations between the aliens. Meeting family can be difficult. There is a good fight scene where Cora keeps trying to hold onto the tablet she uses to translate.

The aliens appear to descend from locusts. They have evolved to get their sustenance from power cores, which may be nuclear. They conflict with “transients” with which they have a common ancestor.

There is another alien variant with the same ancestor which has reached Automated Sentience. I think AS is going to happen with us very soon. Just a matter of finding the right algorithm. I see Binder as the most likely manifestation of AS. I was going to say Artificial Sentience, but they might take that as pejorative.

It is always assumed that the “government”, governments(?), will keep first contact secret.  Why would the governments classify the best budget busting defense motive that has ever happened? There has to be some aspect of the aliens that threatens established order sufficiently to overwhelm the motive of defense spending.

Ellis makes her aliens refugees, a reasonable way to avoid the first contact issues of why they would show up in the first place. Asterisk is a member of the one group, Fremda, that opposes wiping out other species, which is why they are refugees. I could see Fremda changing their minds. The ambivalence is apparent.

In my version of first contact, the aliens showed up, there were the usual issues of immunization, sustenance, insecticides, language, intellectual and social constructs. Finally, the aliens say:

-Take me to your leader.

They get in front of the committee and say something like:

-You guys have developed computers, you know about these political structures, if you just accept these four principles (or whatever) you could avoid hundreds of thousands of years of really tragic social development that you might not survive.

The committee says:

-Get back in that thing and leave.

It took me a while to realize that the US is the Star Wars Empire, including the death star. In Axiom’s End the alien establishment is an overzealous security state, just like us.

 

Bait

The most frightening thing I have ever seen is the Gulf of Mexico from space.  It is circular.  A circle is a crater.

*-*

The hunter waited. A terrifying brilliant ferocious huge man eating tiger, he chuckled, very quietly of course.  It was just another job.  Once it is a money matter, it becomes so simple.  The goat was bleating plaintively on its’ tether.  All as it should be.  He cradled the rifle in his arms thinking about how he would spend the money and with whom he would spend it. He startled, looked at the goat, it was still there.  What was wrong?  The goat was sitting.  It was quiet.  Too late, the hunter realized the goat was staring at him. His position revealed, he felt the tiger’s breath.

*-*

One place to look for aliens is dust. Large successful alien civilizations left a lot of trash, at least at some periods of their development. The difficulty is that chemists usually start by burning or dissolving their samples. Finding a Teflon molecule in moon dust or an arctic ice column seems definitive. Just as we don’t yet have the technology to understand advanced communication, we probably won’t recognize alien detritus. When we do, it will seem obvious even common.

*-*

-People have seen flying saucers.

-People have seen the Virgin Mary.

-That’s not real.

-More people have seen the Virgin Mary than have seen flying saucers.

-It’s not the same.

-The people who see the Virgin Mary sneer at the people who see flying saucers.  The people who see flying saucers sneer at the people who see the Virgin Mary.  If you see both you’re a Mormon.  Just because people see something, doesn’t make it so.

-Why would they make it up?

-Loss of faith; people want to believe in something.

-What about the aircraft carrier visits?

-Excellent example, here we are waving nuclear reactors over the ocean. Why would we prefer a visitation over an admission of ignorance of the physics?

-You think it’s all made up.

-That’s the most likely explanation.  It’s very unlikely that someone came all the way from Andromeda just to drain somebody’s sinuses. It’s an order of magnitude more likely that they are from the neighborhood.

-Where?

-Atlantis, it’s not likely. However, a higher level of primate is certainly more probable than aliens.

-Wouldn’t we know?

-Why would they tell us?

-Why would they let us live?

-Good point.  Primates are sometimes kind to each other, much less to other primate species.  They could be that different I suppose.  It’s more likely some small difference that gives them a big advantage.  Maybe they don’t have our resistance to disease.  Maybe they are moving forward in time until we wipe ourselves out. If it’s just us and them, why are we still here?

-So much for that theory.

-If it’s just us and them, they wouldn’t keep us around.

-Why would they otherwise?

-Bait.

*-*

He stared at the blue planet.  Other species might sneer at the windows in their craft, at his species sense of wonder, now the windows were essential to their plan.  That planet had once been their home.  Then they met the Federation.  They had prospered with the Federation, assured themselves some measure of perpetuity, now it was time to pay their dues.

For thousands of years they had groomed the planet, allowed that other primate species, humans to have it.  It was horrifying to watch.  They had protected them from intrusion, waiting for this moment.  Now the enemy was approaching, a ghastly foe that enslaved the universe.

 

Their own craft was equipped with manual air systems, not the slightest electronic indication.  They waited for the enemy to materialize from their jump gates.  First the scouts came, next would come the huge behemoth ships.  Each jump gate had its own planet. After their experience in an earlier engagement the enemy made its jumps in two large waves.

 

The plan was after the scout wave, to power up and fire as one.  The destruction of such a huge ship in a jump gate would devastate its’ host planet.  Without their gates, the enemy would be helpless and the Federation could finally drive this scourge back into the darkness.

 

In the distance, they could see the haze that indicated the arrival of the behemoth enemy ships.  He stared at the planet and wondered if it would survive.  There were bright red lights shining from the planet.  He squinted. As he looked around, he gasped.  Each of their ships was glowing red.  The humans were shining lasers at their ships.

-Those bastards lit us up!

He screamed.

2400

USS Uhuru on a secret peacekeeping mission to the Lambda quadrant suddenly drops out of warp.

The captain is speaking:

-Why is it always the Lambda quadrant?  What’s their problem?  What happened?

-We are out of warp.

An officer replies.

-I know that, why?

-There’s a diagnostic.

-What does it say?

-It says:

            14357-e, Early end DATECNVT\seclib system ended.

-What?

-It says:

-I heard you.  What does that mean?

The captain interrupts.

-I don’t know.

-Life support inactive.

Says a second officer.

-What do you mean inactive?  Computer, override life support.  I said computer…Are we under attack?

Asks the captain.

-All the computers are down.

Replies the officer.

-What do you mean, down?

-They’re not working.

-Why?

-Permission to be on the bridge.

Jones, a black human, from maintenance and first contact has entered the bridge.

-What is it?

Says the captain.

-The New Year, 2400.

-OK, and that’s a problem because?

-The date routine must have a bug.

-We don’t talk like that on my bridge.

-I've taken history of data processing.

Says Jones.

-Some body actually took that class?

-A bug is a programming error.  Is there a diagnostic message?

-It’s over here.

-Then this must be the main console.

-We have many consoles.

-It thinks it’s the main console.  Oh no, please don’t let it be UNIX.

-Castrated males?

-U N I X.  Oh no, we don’t even have a keyboard.

-A what?

-Excuse me, did you say keyboard?

One of the bridge officers asks.

-Yes.

-There’s a plate in this locker that says something about keystroke equivalents, is that what you want?

-I guess so.  Oh dear.

-Tetsilla, help him with this.  Tetsilla has excellent memory.

Says the captain.

-I think we want to enter, start UNIX.

Jones tells Tetsilla.

-U N I X?

-Yes.

-Then what?

-Enter.  No, don’t type enter.  There should be an enter key.

-Oh, I see it.  What does it mean, invalid parameter enter?

-Hit the enter key again.

-Enter UserID.  What?

-Type r-o-o-t.

-Now it says enter password.  What’s an enter password?

-That’s a command.

-To do what?

-Type password and hit enter.

-The word password?

-Yes.

-Invalid password.  Should I type valid password?

-No.  Try stud muffin, but as one word.

-Invalid password.

-Secure1.

-Invalid password, hey it kicked us out.

-Start over, but without typing enter.

-Look under the console, there’s something written under there.

Says one of the bridge officers.

-What were you doing under the console?

Asks another officer.

Jones looks under the console.

-Try Gandalf.

-Nothing.

Says Tetsilla.

-I think that means it worked.

-Now what?

-Type help and then hit the enter key.

-It’s not a key.

-You know what I mean.

-This is crazy; we’re running out of air.

Says an officer. 

-How long till we run out of air?

Says another bridge officer.

-I don’t know.  We don’t have a computer.

-I think it’s a couple of hours.

-How long is this going to take?

-Type menu and hit enter.

Says Jones, ignoring the discussion.

-Move the cursor over there.

-How?

Asks Tetsilla.

-With the move cursor arrows.

-I can hold it down?

-I don’t know, can you?

-It’s there.

-Hit enter.

A display appears.

-What’s that?

Asks Tetsilla.

-A list of files.  DATECNVT is on it.  Type menu and hit enter.  Now scroll down.  See that’s a scroll bar.  Yeah there, stop.

-Where’s stop?

-We went too far, now back up.

-Oh, I get it.

-Ok, we want the editor.  Put the cursor over that icon and hit enter.

-This is religious?

-Picture then.

-Is it new?

-No.

-It wants a file name.

-DATECNVT.

-It’s a blank screen, I guess that worked.

-Hit the help key.  This is too much for me Tetsilla; can you read all this help?

-Let’s see…I think I have it.

-We want to list the source.

Says Jones.

-I think that’s L *.  Yup.

-OK, scroll down.

-It doesn't scroll; we have to page forward.  What is this stuff?

-COBOL

Says Jones.

-It keeps talking about 2100.

-Yeah, that wasn’t a leap year.  It was a big disaster.  2400 is a leap year.

-Maybe it broke on the division.

-It’s done that before.  However, the remainder hasn’t been zero before.

-It hasn’t?  Oh, right.  I didn’t see this display message.

--Display ‘Century Leap Year’.

-You think that display will actually display?  That’s interesting.  Maybe we’re restricting the messages.  Go back to the main menu. 

-Which icon?

Says Tetsilla.

-Profile.

-Messages is 1.

-Make it bigger.

-99?

-Sure.

-It made it 4.

-Fine.  Computer.

Nothing happens.

-The computer’s down.

Says Tetsilla.

-How do we make it up?

-Maybe we start it.

-What do we start?

Tetsilla types:

-Start Computer.

--Operating system not available. 

Jones repeats:

-What does it want?  I remember, try Baldwin.

-What’s Baldwin?

-It used to be a brand name.

-A what?

-I’ll explain later.

-Now, we have two error messages.

Says Tetsilla.

-It worked.

-It did?  No it didn’t. 

The captain says.

-We have two error messages.

Jones responds.

-Oh, splendid.

Says the captain.

            --File SYSOUT missing.

-What does that mean?

Tetsilla asks.

-It didn’t display the message

Says Jones..

-So, it did break on the division.

-No, it broke on the display.  Display is an output command.

-Why would they want that message coming out all the time?

Asks Tetsilla.

-Exactly, it must have been for testing.

-So, we should add the file.

-No, we should remove the display.

-Change the source?

The captain’s voice rises.

-No one’s changed source in centuries.

-Well we are.

Says Jones.

-There will be an inquiry.

Says the captain.

-Let’s hope we’re there for it.

Jones tells the captain.  Then he says to Tetsilla:

- Go back into the editor.  We have to delete that line.

-The delete key isn’t working.

-You’re at the end of the line.  How do we get to the beginning?

-See it’s not working.

-I think you have to back up on it.

-Degundagocabawawa!  In an orifice!  What was the matter with those people?

-You got it Tetsilla.  How do you know Lundai?

-Great lets start the computer.

The captain interrupts.

-Not yet, we have to recompile.  Not yet Tetsilla.  Did you save the source?

- We still have our two messages.  What’s recompile?

Tetsilla asks.

-Back to the menu.

Jones explains.

-I don’t see recompile.

-Maybe under source management…We want one of the COBOL ones.  Try that one.

-The source name is DATECNVT, it wants a library.

Says Tetsilla.

-Try SECLIB.

Says Jones.

-End of statement, invalid delimiter.  Is that our line number?

Asks Tetsilla.

-Let’s go back and look at it.

Says Jones.

-Is it done?

-The captain asks.

-We have a compiler error.  We’re missing a period.  Right there.

Says Jones.

-You’d think it would know.

Tetsilla says.  This time the compile works, and the computer starts.

-Great work Tetsilla, back to your posts everyone.

Says the captain.

-Computer, are you the most current version?  Did we start the right one?

Jones asks.

-I have the right version.

The computer responds.

-Did you start it?

-Now I did.

-I thought you sounded different.

Says the captain.

-The other computer systems are down.

Says the computer.

-Well, bring them up.

-I am not authorized to make those modifications.

-The password is Gandalf.

Says Jones.

-I’m not supposed to know that.

-We trust you a lot more than we trust ourselves.

Jones says.

-Captain am I authorized to do this?

-I authorize you.  Please computer, bring up the other systems.

Responds the captain.

-All systems up except life support.

The computer says.

-Well, bring up life support.

The captain says.

-The password is invalid.

The computer answers.

-But you know where the password is stored.

Jones says.

-You want me to hack life support? 

-Yes.

-Captain, am I authorized to hack life support?

-Please computer, hack life support.

-There will be an inquiry.

The computer says.

-Are you going to tell them?

Jones asks.

-An inquiry would be a less than optimal use of our resources.  Life support is active.

The computer says.

-Communications are down.

Says the communications officer.

-What?  Computer diagnose communications.

Says the captain.

-Communications are functioning, no one is responding.

All the non-humans glance at each other.  Most of them where contacted by humanity rather than the other way around and it is common to view humans as an imposition.

-No one else took that course.

Tetsilla says to Jones:

-What was your grade?

-I dropped it.  It was too silly.  Computer, can you fix the other computers?

-You want me to hack Starfleet?

-Please computer, hack Starfleet.

The captain says.

-Should I fix the other computers too?

-Yes, please fix the other computers.

-Uhuru, this is Starfleet command.  We have been experiencing a temporary computer malfunction; please give us a status.

-Uhuru enroute to Lambda quadrant.

The captain says.

-Did you also have this problem?

-It appears to be corrected now.

-Keep us informed,  Starfleet out.

-You heard them, back to your posts everyone.  Let’s go.