Sail Boarding

 

I had been sail boarding with my friends in Lake Michigan with little success. Being male, we used our backs rather than our brains. We took turns wrestling the board while the rest of us considered the futility of our meaningless existence on the beach. In the 80’s Chicago winters were extreme enough to push me into the Caribbean. Going for two weeks meant I paid less in air fare. This also meant that the resort boards were unused over the weekend, when everyone else was in transit.

In fairness to my friends, Lake Michigan is choppier and less buoyant than the ocean. By now I knew to paddle out to deep water and fall off the board, rather than on the board. Standing on the board, holding the line connected to the boom where it joins the mast, I reckoned the wind direction and maneuvered the sail to the opposite side. I wasn’t going to let the sail push me off again. I gently lifted the sail slightly out of the water. The water fell out of the uplifted hollow mast. The mast and sail became light. I picked the sail up. Please don’t ask how long it took me to figure that out.

The sail was up. If I held the mast directly upright, it was easy to hold; all the force directs to the mast step where it joins the board. Any deviation put greater force on me. Holding myself against the mast and moving the boom, it was easy to gently direct the board in various directions. Being an American, I wanted to go faster. It dawned on me what the foot straps were for. I put my feet in the straps and hung on the boom. The board took off. I was speeding across the waves. I screamed with joy.

Even now, that one moment gives me comfort.

Phonics

 

I am surprised that this issue is still in question. When I was taught the preferred teaching method was called “look see”. It relied on memory to read. I admit not much works with boys and almost anything seems to work with girls. Girls have more brain connections or something and they don’t seem as affected by fetal alcohol. Or maybe girls figure out phonics on their own. In any case mom got disgusted and got me a tutor who taught phonics. I had to do workbooks. Blue birds were the lowest reading group in class. I moved from blue bird over red bird to yellow bird and never looked back.

I’ve already posted about reading aloud and using grids rather than flash cards. But ignoring the phonetic basis of written English is perverse. Later Sesame Street seemed to have settled the issue and I was relieved.

I didn’t realize the nonsense was back. Now it is called “whole language”. Children are supposed to use the “language of context” to somehow intuit words rather than sounding them out. I admit when you currently read you are unaware of any underlying phonics process. But it is ridiculous to expect someone to master the quantity of knowledge required without the tool that will give you that knowledge.

Why do teachers hate phonics? What is there about the process that is so distasteful to them? It is the pain and suffering buried in the construction of English. Each inconsistency contains history. If you actually look at the language, as children do, the stench of barbarism, wickedness and conquest seeps out.

Teachers don’t want to explain the Phoenician empire wiped out by the Romans over infanticide. The conquests by Rome and the Normans. Billy the Bully. The slaughters and famines brought by empires. Slavery. Serfdom. The English empire itself. The language of the oppressor.

Q-Where did English come from?

A-People killing and starving each other.

Q-Why don’t the words follow the rules?

A-We used to talk like that and kept the spelling.

Q-Why do people talk funny?

A-They want to be special.

A-Just like the playground. Good guys sometimes lose. People aren’t the same.

Teachers are pushing the “language of context” to avoid discussing the context of language.

If your little darling is having trouble, there’s lots of phonics YouTube videos. If they still have trouble, get rid of the televisions, they will learn to read. Everybody needs stories.

If you know how to read and write, you can escape.