Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Jackasses Drive Drunk

Your tattoo is ugly and stupid.
Your butt is so big because it gets the most use.
Plastic surgery looks goofy.
Loud is dumb.
Check your medications, check them again.
You are fat because you eat too much.
Cubs fans are losers.
Maybe if you move far away, people will think you are interesting, maybe not.
I hope you trip on those pants.
I hope you fall off those shoes.
No one wants to hear it, any of it.
Your poor kids are just as dumb and ugly as you.
If you are that sick you might as well die.
Everyone is lying to you.
God hates you and she is right.
The louder you play it, the deafer you get.
You are annoying.
You would make a lot more with an engineering degree.
You are a lousy driver.
It’s just sex.
It’s just money.
Your house is boring.
Lesbians in a relationship disappear because they can’t get out the door.
Please don’t friend me.
Strauss sucks.
It’s you.
You are irritating, yes you are.
You really don’t want to be noticed.
If women ever discover short hair, flat shoes, wallets and pockets, we will have no advantage.
Be grateful for pity fucks.
Being angry doesn’t make you right.
Just watch the TV.
If mom don’t want you, you can’t come.
There is no food in Indiana or Mississippi.
Mozzarella only
He’d better be gay.
Hope it heals.
If we were married, I’d get a divorce.
Steroid use causes brain tumors.
Most birth defects are developmental.
More for me
You’d better work on nice and good because you’ll get caught at anything else.
Video games do not prepare you for anything useful.
You are exactly as special as everybody else.
Do their butts feel sticky in heaven?  Do they miss it?
It is difficult to take logic seriously when it so easily leads to suicide.
Let the lord be the lord and be grateful.
You are the problem.
No gift cards.

Die At County

Chorus:
Let me die at County
Not out on the street
Let me die at County
Take me off my feet
Let me die at County
When I’m passing on
Cause dying at County
I won’t be alone
 -
Ma died at County
Daddy he did too
My eldest died of gunshot there
And his wife she did too
So take me to County
When my time is done
Cause dying at County
I won’t be alone.
 -
All the hospitals are on standby
The ambulance won’t stop
Don’t matter it you’re a movie star
Don’t matter if you’re a cop
The building’s kind of new
And it’s packed to the brim
I may die at County
But they always take me in
 -
The young men are dying
It’s taking them awhile
Trying to go with dignity
And just a little style
Medicines expensive
Health care aint free
Last year’s social butterfly
Has no modesty
 -
My HMO says SOL
My PPO just won’t
Medicaid wants to be paid
And Medicare just don’t
So take me to County
I can’t afford to pay
Let me die at County
In the USA
 -
County’s the best hospital
So I’ve been told
All the doctors are young
All the nurses are old
When it’s their turn to die
They reach paradise
Cause they’ve spent enough time
In fire and ice
 -
They took County hospital
Put it on TV
Made a lot of money
Off people like me.
They get residuals
I get along
All I’ve got left is
This damn old song
 -
I went to the county
I was sick real bad
It was the worst
I’d ever had
Told the clerk
I felt I was dying
She told me
To get in the line
 -
Stroger had a stroke
The ambulance raced
Didn’t stop
Till it got to his place
Stroger came to
Opened an eye
Said keep on going
Aint ready to die